absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Randomize
