On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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