actually, I'm a sock model
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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