I'll bet she douches with gravy.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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