Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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