Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
