u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
