Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
