Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
