I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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