Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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