Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Randomize
