Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
