yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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