I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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