STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize