I hope mine doesn't look like that
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
