a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
