dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
