its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
