It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
