hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Redeem this text for a blowjob
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
