Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
They took my balls.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
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