Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
