my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
