Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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