dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
did you just send me my own nude
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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