capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
