I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
