Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
