we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
