you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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