Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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