And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
