He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
