considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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