Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
