He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
