Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Boobs are out for the taking
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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