I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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