i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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