I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
did i just pee glitter
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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