So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
How does it feel to date your dad?
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