Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize