i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
