In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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