Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
