mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
