She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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