it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
