i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Randomize
