Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
