Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
