You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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