Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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