All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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